July 15: Sex with Shakespeare

sex-with-shakespearePlease join us for an online discussion of Sex with Shakespeare: Here’s Much to Do with Pain, but More with Love by Jillian Keenan!

Published this year by HarperCollins and reviewed by the New York Times, Sex with Shakespeare is a moving memoir about coming to terms with a spanking kink. You will find conversations with Shakespeare characters (magical realism, not hallucination), the sexual frontiers of Singapore and Oman, a truly inspired talent for bratting, and the (successful!) conversion of a vanilla spouse.

Trigger warnings: child abuse, rape.

The author: Jillian Keenan is known for coming out in the New York Times and her assertion that kink is a sexual orientation. She should be better known for her essay onthe foggy edge of sexual consent. You can check out her FL profile here.

  • Date/Time: Friday, 15 February 2016, 10.30pm- (Eastern Seaboard Time)
  • Where: Google Hangouts voice chat. Just invite yingtai.is.reading@gmail.com to a hangout with you, using a Gmail address you are willing to share with other kinksters.

Please note the discussion etiquette. We look forward to chatting with you!

February 26: Paradigms of Power

book-cover-paradigms-of-powerPlease join us for an online chat discussion of Paradigms of Power: Styles of Master/Slave Relationships, edited by Raven Kaldera. You can get the book here:

Only the first half of the book (pages 1-112) will be discussed at this meeting. In terms of book sections, that means Leather, 1950’s Style, The Victorians, Nobility and Fealty, Ancient Echoes.

Looking forward to seeing you there!

September 13: The Gift of Fear

Please join us for an online chat discussion of The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals that Protect Us From Violence by Gavin de Becker.

Click here for event details.

This is the first mainstream book in our reading list, because it’s so very relevant for the BDSM community. The Gift of Fear is the classic work on spotting danger signals, evaluating your instinctive reactions to make risk assessments about potential violence. The author is a top security consultant – threats, stalking, abuse, shootings, you name it – and also a survivor of childhood violence. Abuse survivors are very, very good at reading people. This book is his attempt to teach us what he learnt from growing up around gunshots.

It’s also a very good read. Solidly researched, simple and practical, and reads like a thriller.

Trigger warnings (partial): sexual assault, gun violence, threats, stalking.

Abuse in Kinky Relationships

For our June 4 meeting, we will discuss these online articles:

These other resources are also relevant, but they will not be the focus of our discussion:

Suggestions? Abuse in kinky relationships

Our next meeting (June 4) will be a discussion of abuse in kinky relationships. Can you recommend any online reading?

So far we have Identifying Potentially Abusive Partners. This is a vanilla source that repeatedly refers to the abusive partner’s paranoia.

Looking forward to your suggestions! It would be great to have them in this thread by Friday morning (May 15) so that we can make a decision over the weekend.

P.S. Most of the discussion will probably be in our FetLife forum. It’s free to sign up.

Venus in Furs: Film + Background

Venus in Fur DVD cover: A woman's crossed legs

Image from RogerEbert.com

We’re celebrating the holiday season with a film screening!

Venus in Fur is a 2013 French film (subtitled). The reviews say things like “caustically brilliant” and “sexually charged.” The trailer may excite you in more ways than one. Personally I like the bit where she calls the book sexist S&M porn and hurls it into the fire.

For once, you don’t have to read anything before the meeting. But if you do want background, the film is based on the Broadway play by David Ives, which is based on the classic 1870 novella by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, who gave his name to masochism.

Click here for event details. Note that we are starting earlier than usual so we can fit in both the film and a discussion.