consent

Consent Debate Cheat Sheet

1. Joseph Bean, The Future of Leather

And, it was SM, the take me while I’m hot, do with me as you will, no-holds-barred, I’ll do my best to explain the bruises later … Each of us knew our place; out of the way until called, silent until ordered to speak, available to be used or ignored by the men towering over our cowering forms.

2. Dusk Peterson, Spontaneous

“That’s the way to do it,” Trent said with satisfaction. “No twelve-hour negotiations. No fiddling talk of whether the bottom will allow his left ass-cheek to be pounded harder than his right ass-cheek. And Christ help us, no goddamn breaks in the middle to renegotiate. Just raw, rough sex, the way it was meant to be.”

3. Laura Antoniou, Unsafe at Any Speed

Now, when the boys want that big old dyke and her bullwhip away from their sash parades, all they have to say is, “She’s endangering people; it’s unsafe,” or, “She’s not projecting a proper image for our community. That’s insane.” “The people watching have not given their permission to be shown this kind of behavior. That’s nonconsensual.”

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RopeDreams on Consent

By RopeDreams

I have enjoyed thinking about the first reading group topic, “Safe, Sane and Consensual – ethical principles for risk tolerance.” The suggested readings provided much food for thought and prompted a rousing debate in my own relationship and among my friends about this controversial topic. At Yingtai’s invitation, I have included a few of my own thoughts about the subject.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that so much is available from the man who apparently coined the phrase Safe, Sane and Consensual, David Stein. According to Stein, the formula was originally offered as a “minimum standard for ethically defensible S/M.” David Stein, “Safe, Sane Consensual: The Making of a Shibbloeth.” But he intended the phrase merely to describe ethically defensible BSDM, what it looked like, not as a protocol or guide for how to get there. As Joseph Bean pointed out, the “problem comes in mistaking a description for a prescription.” Joseph Bean, “The SSC Mistake.”

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The Consent Debate

  1. Unsafe at Any Speed, or Safe, Sane, and Consensual, My Fanny by Laura Antoniou (1995)
  2. The SSC Mistake by Joseph W. Bean (1998)
  3. The Future of Leather by Joseph W. Bean (2000)
  4. The Origin of RACK / RACK vs. SSC by Gary Switch (2001)
  5. Safe Sane Consensual: The Making of a Shibboleth by david stein (2002)
  6. Consent Alone Is Not Enough by david stein (2013)
  7. How to Do the Right Kinky Thing by david stein (2005-2014)
  8. Short story: Spontaneous by Dusk Peterson (2006)

A kind reader has compiled the readings into a PDF. Young eyes may prefer the version with two pages per sheet. Note that The Future of Leather is not included in the PDF.